About noon today we will leave the quiet of our little house to attend a family reunion hosted by my parents. I am looking forward to seeing everyone, particularly my nephew and brother who have trekked from afar just to spend some time with us. I miss them so much that I may try to lure them into staying at Chez Ragged this evening just so I can steal a few more minutes with them.
Right now, however, I am enjoying the quiet before the storm. No matter how much I look forward to seeing everyone, there is also the stress that accompanies such gatherings. I'm not complaining, just being a little realistic about the whole situation.
As much as I love each and every one of them, there is a river of emotion and dysfunction that runs beneath the surface of our relationships and manages to spew up from time to time and can be incredibly painful.
We aren't kind to one another, we don't listen well to each other, we don't share genuine feelings with one another. I am trying to break that pattern, trying to speak with honest sentiment, listen to what those around me are saying and be kind to those I love and let go of that pesky pride that is a barrier between us. It's not easy without a good example, but I suspect I will summon all of the lessons my grandmothers bestowed upon me. I sometimes wonder if things would be much different if they were still with us, guiding all of us.
So, right now I am sitting quietly in my living room, enjoying the peacefulness, feeling the breeze created by our slowly churning ceiling fan. Cynical, exhausted from the excitement (read: sarcasm), has gone back to bed for a little mid-morning nap that has become a bit of a ritual for him on Saturday mornings.
I pray for wonderful memories. I pray for peace. I pray for honesty.
Another shot from the flower booth at the Farmer's Market.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Calm before the storm
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2 comments:
Your family has (gasp!!) dysfunction? Last I checked, I didn't know a family that doesn't! Don't forget that in my previous life I was a therapist. With retirement, I plan to develop some dysfunction of my own!! As if I needed to!
My sister-in-law once commented that the problem with my family is that we are all too nice to each other. No one wants to hurt anyone's feelings, so rather than speak out about, say, where one would like to have dinner, there would be a discussion, sometimes lasting an hour, before we could settle on a restaurant! Yeah, it was just silly!
I will also pray for you happy memories and peace. Now, honesty might just good faith and include that, too.
Good luck. I hope it goes really well.
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