So, I was wrong. Hitting the treadmill at home isn't as rewarding as donning presentable workout attire, braving the dark cold, and realizing how wide your butt is in the mirror behind you as you walk on one at the local Y. (While next to you someone is running at break neck speeds and not even sweating. I can tell, I sneak looks at their monitor.)
I cannot stare at a green wall for upwards of 20 minutes each night. Add a little water torture, some light deprivation and I could have a case with Amnesty International. Either we get a television in there or I start going to the Y again and envying all of the skinny, sweat-glistening 20-year-olds.
And, there is nothing grosser than sneezing while wearing your Crest White Strips. Who needs white teeth.
And these new vitamins are sure to choke me to death each morning as I try to swallow something the size of a Sharpie. Who needs bone density.
Wellness isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Treadmill = torture
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3 comments:
I think that's the funniest thing I've ever read! You paint a very vivid picture! I do admire your determination. Can you get a book on tape from the Cracker Barrel or library to make the time pass?...this from someone with a pristine treadmill sitting in the basement, totally unused.
I've been laughing at this all day! I'm with you, babe. Forget white teeth, who needs them? Bone density is for sissys, who minds a broken hip? And doesn't knitting burn more calories than treadmills anyway? I know blogging does! :)
I think you need some sweet tea to follow up your treadmill workout. Tea doesn't stain freshly whitened teeth, does it? ;)
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