When You're Strange

I want to first thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Cynical's mother is still in surgery, but we are all hoping for the best and are patiently awaiting news that it's over and she's on her way to recovery.

In the meantime, as my title suggests, it's hard when you're strange. I live in a very conservative, family-raising community. However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I live in no man's land, somewhere between hippiedom and conservativeland. I am 36 and don't have any children. Cynical and I don't have plans to marry nor any plans to birth babies.

Today while waiting at the hospital with several family members including Cynical's sister and her child (Baby M), it was mentioned four times that I needed to "get myself" "one of these". What does that mean? One of these? She's not a popsicle or a Diet Coke. She's a baby and I don't want one of them of my own. I prefer to take them "on loan".

It's kind of like ice cream makers. I love home made ice cream and whenever I get a hankering (Southern term for a craving) for it, I borrow one and make banana ice cream to my heart's content. I only crave it sometimes, so I don't see any need in having one of my own, to maintain and store.

That may sound cold (don't mind the ice cream pun), but it's true. I love children, I really do. I am always the one at the family reunion organizing children's games or conspiring with my nephew (Prince E). I am always the one willing to let them apply fake tattoos, shoot me with a water gun or answer embarrassing questions (including ones related to my income). However, I don't necessarily want to be a mother.

People just don't get that. I am somehow cold-hearted and inhuman because I don't want to go forth and procreate. Cynical and I are on the same page. . . the page that reads: "We like kids, we really do. We just make better aunts and uncles."

I sometimes think that if a lot of people owned up to this fact, only those that should have kids would. I am not strange, just smart and in tune with what I am good at and what I am not. I am a great aunt, and wouldn't be a good mom. Is that so hard to understand, I ask you. My answer is "no!"

I will never be able to convince those that think everyone should parent, so I guess I will continue to smile, nod and change the subject whenever I am hit with a barrage of babymaking questions. See, it's not easy when your "strange."

(And who, by the way, gets to determine what is strange and what is normal. . . that's a topic for another day and another blog.)

The photo above shows some gorgeous zinnias delivered to a co-worker. Zinnias are used in gardens in the area to ward off some pests, but are also a way to add some color and beauty to vegetable gardens. Whenever I see them I think of grandmothers, fresh corn and muggy summers.