Monday, Monday, can't trust that day

Every Sunday night it hits me: I gotta work tomorrow. Monday somehow sneaks up on me every time and I react as if I never saw it coming. Generally I come to this realization as soon as I hear the theme music for “Six Feet Under”, which ruins the entire viewing experience for me. (By the way: they killed of Nate! I know it’s the last season, but Nate, why not some lesser character like Ruth’s hairdressing boyfriend.) But, I digress. Back to the topic at hand.

Sunday night also brings with it a multitude of chores all designed to prepare us for the impending week. We cook food for us to warm up “happily” for lunch throughout the upcoming five days. (By happily I really mean begrudgingly as I hate leftovers.) I pack my gym bag with big dreams of working out each afternoon. I clean out my mammoth bag o’ stuff that I haul in and out of work each day and somehow it just gets heavier. And. . . I iron.

I love housework. Yes, I know that obsessive cleaning is certainly a symptom of several neuroses, but leave me to my harsh chemicals and sponges. However, I hate two things: cleaning floors and ironing.

So, as I angrily pushed the iron along my khaki pants (that I wear almost daily to work), I found myself daydreaming. I was thinking of all of the things I would do (or not do) if I was either suddenly rich or debt free and here’s what I came up with. (Notice that I didn’t start with the new car, new house stuff. That kinda goes against me being me. I am sure I’d need a newer car and maybe we’d move to a new place with room for all of my Fiestaware. Of course we’d send our nieces and nephew to college and pay off debt for family and loved ones, but I wanted to concentrate on more of the little things we wouldn’t have to tackle, the real things that would make our life easier. I am not going with the obvious.)

1. Cynical would no longer have to mow. I love that boy and I hate thinking about him out in the heat and I’d never have to taunt him again in my blogs.
2. I would never iron again. I would hire someone to iron all of our clothes, even the t-shirts and polos that we sheepishly pass off as “pressed” when in reality we just stuck them in the dryer for a few minutes.
3. I’d pay someone to wait in line at the pharmacy. Let them catch whatever is going around, not me. There are only sick people in pharmacies, doctor’s offices and hospitals.
4. As God is my witness, I’d never mop again. I’d supply the bucket. That’d be it for my commitment.
5. We’d never go near the litter box again. I’d have someone clean it after each use and help our kitties in and out of the box, removing any residual litter from each little paw. (I hate, I mean HATE stepping on little granules of litter.)
6. I’d replace my copy of Lenny Kravitz’ “Mama Said” with an original CD to complete my collection of his works.
7. I’d buy my favorite books in hardback and never wait patiently (or sometimes not so patiently) until they came out in paperback.
8. I’d have the fanciest, coolest digital camera imaginable and put all of the computer geeks to shame.
9. I’d never scrape bird poop of my lawn chairs again. Any time I chose to sit in them, they’d be clean and inviting. As it stands now when I walk outside to see them bombarded by our friendly fowl and I just turn around and go back inside. It’s not worth it.
10. Someone would make us gorgeous bedding including sheets that actually fit our huge, thick mattress.

I’m not asking for much, am I?

Update:
Cola Intake for Sunday:
One LARGE Diet Coke from McDonald's. It was a treat from Cynical, so how could I resist. (Does that make me a cheap date?)

Cola Intake for Monday:
Nada, nothing. Impressed? I am drinking some cold green tea with plans to drink a 12 oz. Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper as a little pick-me-up this afternoon. I know you are proud of me.

Rock Star: INXS:
The station is back on the air, in part, no doubt, to my insistence that they get their act together and get the conversion to HDTV over and done with so I can catch up on the show.

The photo at the start of this post was taken on Friday in our downtown area. I just liked the shadows on the concrete being cast from an iron picnic table.