I think I've groused on this blog several times that the holiday are hard for me. That sentence sounds really pathetic and very whiny and I apologize for that. That being said, I might whine some more, so you might want to quit reading. I am sure I'll apologize again later too.
The holidays are hard because my family is difficult and complicated. Barbs are thrown, gifts are used to emotionally and sometimes (nearly) physically bludgeon. Feelings are hurt. Awful things said and unsaid. And in the midst of the mess I sit, a vulnerable, sensitive, and blubbering mess of a person; all of my feelings splayed on my face for all to see.
And then there is all the stuff. Stuff, stuff, stuff. Plastic stuff, stuff in boxes, stuff we don't need. My mom recently told me her plans to buy stuff to make my aunt and uncle do stuff that she thought they needed to be doing. Manipulation through giving. Isn't that nice? Oh, and she is throwing in a photograph of her and dad for good measure. Double the pleasure.
I know you thought it was about the spirit of giving, the essence of caring. It's all about control. It's the new Christmas paradigm.
Oh. . . and I'm sorry.
Friday, November 21, 2008
A new Christmas paradigm
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6 comments:
I just found this today. The video on the right side of the home page sums up what you are saying too, only with an idea to make Christmas bearable and actually awesome. I don't know if it's your thing or not, but I wanted to pass it on just in case it could rescue you from having a sucky Christmas.
Here's the link....
http://www.adventconspiracy.org/
Oh, I'm Farmwife's cousin, in case you are wondering who in the world I am.
I feel for you. Our dreams of how Christmas should/could be are very different to the reality aren't they ? Good luck. I am going to watch Inkling's video link - she's a pretty bright cookie I think ! S
Next year we are going on a winter vacation and they can have Christmas.
I'm totally feeling you on this one. If it weren't for the kids I would have thrown in the towel long ago as far as the holidays are concerned. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.
Eek, I'm sorry, too. Sounds like a big old bundle of yuckiness that will never get better. It's seems to be stuck in their mindset. Hopefully you can take comfort that you are not playing their games.
I will give you a big hug next time I see you. I feel sad that the holidays aren't something that you can enjoy...unconditionally. - Sorry, I want to make it better.
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