I mentioned in my previous post that even though pre-planning a funeral is an incredible gift for the loved ones left behind, it leaves them a little lost and wandering aimlessly.
In an effort to stay busy until we leave town for visitation and the services, we met with Cynical's family for lunch. It was a nice distraction, but I seem to get a little choked up whenever anyone wants to comfort me. I hate that. I don't like to get emotional in front of anyone. I am not a graceful crier. I have always wished that I could cry like the women in movies: with a single tear trickling down my cheek. Instead, my face turns red, my eyes swell up, I become nasally and snotty. Whenever I try to talk, it only escalates the whole thing and I am a mess within a matter of seconds. I hate it.
We also ventured to the newly-opened Sam's Club. You can't live with it. You can't live without it. As much as I hate that whole franchise, I can't pass up a bargain on cat litter or frozen shrimp.
We are home now, having braved a day of rain. I am packed and ready to go. Cynical has to work tomorrow and attend class tomorrow night. As much as I understand he can't come up until later, I hate it. I hate knowing that I am flying solo on this until he gets there. I wish our lives didn't get in the way of these things.
On another note, I can trace my love of sugar and all things sweet directly to my grandmother. That woman loved sweets, particularly ice cream. Like grandmother, like granddaughter it seems. I have been trying to think of a way to celebrate my grandmother in a very special way following the funeral, something we could do as a family, something that would make us smile, something that would remind us of her. I have decided that ice cream is the ticket. Nothing would please her more than to know that we saluted her with icecream and all of the fixins.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
And I've seen rain
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
3 things.
1) I'm so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you.
2) The crying you describe...Oprah calls that the "ugly cry". There's the one glistening tear, then the abyss.
3) I hate Walmart and Sam's Club, too. Mostly because I hate the crowds getting in and around them. But, you're right, you can't beat the deals. I try to support Target and Costco more, though. Bearable and even enjoyable.
That's the perfect way to describe it: an ugly cry.
I so love Target, but darnit, they don't have food here. Please Target, expand into frozen foods.
I feel the same way. When I'm upset I don't want sympathy or hugs...I just want to be left alone so I can hold it together. Any bit of empathy when I'm upset will cause me to fall apart.
And I'm any ugly crier too. :) my nose runs and my face turns red and i sob uncontrollably. Pretty!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope your trip is a safe one and (although a sad time) a good one.
Cry all you want and eat your sweets for your grand.
May God bless you and your family.
I am so sorry about your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I don't cry unless my mother cries, then the dam breaks.
I think the ice cream is a great idea.
Jennifer and I are incredibly alike.
At both of my grandparents' funerals, I was convinced that people wouldn't leave you alone until you were bawling. They just kept going on and on until the tears started to fall. Then, they left - 'mission accomplished'.
Some people should be kicked more.
So sorry about your Grandma, Ragged.
When a beloved Grandma in my family died, a few of us grandkids went back to the gravesite later in the evening. We had a special toast to Grandma with her favorite pina colada mix. We drank, we laughed, and remembered the special, irreplaceable person that she was.
That's the kind of send-off I hope to have.
Post a Comment